Our normal disclaimers:
I’m an amateur. My advantage over the original translation is that I have no deadline pressure, and I have the modern internet to help me. I’m assuredly wrong about some of my translations.
Translation is hard. When I point out a mistranslation, it’s not a judgment of the original translator(s). They had a deadline and poor resources.
Some of my translations are rather liberal. I’ll usually make note if so.
Please no jokes in the comments about Karen being a Karen. It is a not-even-thinly-veiled synonym for b**** and it’s mean to the thousands of people named Karen.
I forgot to pop by Gem’s. With 3 jewels in hand, he’ll now give us a prize.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
君からは 今 ３コの 赤い宝石を あずかっているよ。 | I’m holding 3 of the Red Jewels for you. | Right now I’m taking care of 3 red jewels for you. |
おっと 集めた宝石が ３コを 越えているじゃないかっ！リストの通り 薬草をあげなくては。 | You’ve collected more than three Jewels! | Well hey, looks like you’ve surpassed 3 jewels, haven’t you! According to the list, you get a medicinal herb. |
According to the list, you get the herb! | ||
宝石商から 薬草をもらった！ | You received the herb! | Got a medicinal herb from the jeweler! |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
どこへ むかいますか？ | Where do you go? | Where are you going? |
The OE is literally correct. It says “where do you go?” But that’s not how you’d normally phrase it in English. Where are you going?, where to?, where are you headed? all sound more natural to me.
If you look closely, you’ll see that Edward Castle was renamed to Edward’s Castle in the OE—not just in dialogue boxes, but on the Mode 7 map as well.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
エドワード城 | Edward’s Castle | Edward Castle |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： ここは エドワード王の城。 国王に えっけんに きたのなら 名を なのられよ。 | This is King Edward’s castle. I must report this intrusion. | Soldier: This is King Edward’s castle. If you came for an audience with his highness, then give me your name. |
I’m guessing this intrusion mistranslation came from えっけん (ekken) which can mean unauthorized, but in this case means audience with a superior. Kanji would have cleared up the issue. When meaning unauthorized it’s 越権, but when meaning audience it’s 謁見.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
テムは 門番に エドワード王の手紙を 見せた。 | Will shows the letter to the guard. | Tim showed the king’s letter to the guards. |
In this case I think the game made a mistake, rather than the OE. This text is yellow and so shouldn’t be in third person. I guess it’s no wonder OE mixes this up frequently, when the game itself can’t be bothered to stay consistent. Yellow text is supposed to be Tim’s internal dialogue, but I guess not always. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士：国王の お客様でしたか。 大変 失礼いたしました。 どうぞ お入り下さい。 | A guest of the King? I’m sorry, you may pass. | Soldier: You’re the king’s guest? I sincerely apologize. By all means, please enter. |
The guards separate and go their separate ways. If you talk to the guard on the right before he stops walking around, he says:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
ここは エドワード国王の城。 くれぐれも そそうのないようにな。 それでなくても 国王は きびしい お方 なんだから。 | This is King Edward’s castle. Be courteous and know that the King is very strict. | This is King Edward’s castle. I urge you not to be careless. The king can be quite unsparing. |
If you follow that same guard all the way to the right, he’ll hide behind a pillar. Talk to him while he’s behind the pillar for different dialogue (and a Red Jewel):
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
しっ。 声をたてるなよ。 さぼっているのが バレるだろっ。 | Don’t raise your voice. And mind your manners. | Shh. Keep it down. You might give it away that I’m slacking off. |
そのかわり 君には 赤い宝石を 一つ あげるから。 | In exchange, I will give you one Red Jewel. | In return, I’ll give you a Red Jewel. |
I think the OE got confused about who, exactly, is さぼっている (sabotteiru - slacking off). That’s probably where the mind your manners mistranslation came from.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
ここは エドワード国王の城です。 国王と 会見するならば 2階へ 上がってください。 | This is King Edward’s castle. | This is King Edward’s castle. For your audience with the king, please go up to the second floor. |
Go to the second floor if you want to meet King Edward. |
You can’t actually go upstairs yet, though. There’s a guard in the way saying…
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
エドワード国王は 朝食を とられているところだ。 今しばらくしてから くるがよい。 | King Edward is having breakfast. Wait a while, then enter. | King Edward is currently eating breakfast. Please come back in a short while. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
近ごろ 殺し屋が やとわれたの。 国王は いったい 何を 考えているのかしら．．． | Recently, a hunter was hired. I wonder what the king is thinking… | Recently, an assassin was hired. What in the heck is the king thinking? |
This is almost certainly censorship rather than a mistranslation. There’s no mistaking 殺し屋 (koroshiya - professional killer / hit man). It’s got the kanji for kill in it: 殺. Back in the NES/SNES era, it was common for games to remove all direct references to death and murder and replace them with euphemisms.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： この先は 地下のろうや。 一般人 立ち入る場所では ない。 | Soldier: This is the underground prison. Innocent people can’t enter. | Soldier: Past here is the underground jail. It is not open to members of the public. |
In the right tower, there’s a maid on the second floor:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
あなた テムさんね。 エドワード国王に よびだされたん でしょ？ | So you’re Will. You were summoned by King Edward? | So you’re Tim? You were summoned by King Edward, right? |
何だか 国王はいらついてるの。 気をつけてね。 | Be careful when you meet with him. | The king is somewhat irritable. Watch yourself. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
ぼ ぼくは 君のことが．．． | I… I love… you… | I… I… the thing about you is… |
This shy guard is rather direct in the OE. It’s clear he’s trying to express romantic feelings in the original, but he’s more vague about it.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
まあ この人ったら てれちゃって．．． | Well, he’s shy… | Good gracious, this guy is ridiculously shy. |
でも 世界中のどこかには 必ず 自分を 思ってくれている人が いるものなのね．．．。 | I’m glad that somewhere in the world there is someone who is thinking of me. | But I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty nice that there’s someone out there who’s always thinking about me. |
人ったら (hitottara) means as for a/the person, but implies annoyance. She’s a little peeved that he’s so shy.
Now let’s go to Karen’s room. It’s being guarded.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： ここは ひめさまのお部屋。 見知らぬ者を 通すわけにはいかん。 | This is the Princess’s room. Strangers can’t enter. | Soldier: This is the princess’s room. Strangers aren’t allowed in. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
カレン： だあれ？ | Kara: Who is it? | Karen: Who is it? |
カレン： お客さま？ | Kara: A guest? | Karen: A guest? |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： うすよごれた 平民の少年です。 | Soldier: This is just a shabby boy. | Soldier: It’s some filthy commoner boy. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
テム： ぼくだよ、 カレン！ | Will: It’s me, Kara | Tim: It’s me, Karen! |
カレン： あ．．． その声は．．． | Kara: Oh… That voice… | Karen: Ahhh, that voice… |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
通しなさい。 さもないと あなたの むかしのあだ名を バラすわよ。 | Let him in, or I’ll tell everyone your old nickname. | Let him through. Otherwise I’ll tell everyone your old nickname. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： うわッ。 そ、 それだけは ごかんべんを！ どうぞ お通りください。 | Soldier: Oh, pardon me! Please enter! | Soldier: Aaah! F-forgive me! By all means, please enter. |
You can talk to the guard again before you speak to Karen:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
まいったなぁ．．．ブツブツ | I’m at a loss… | I surrender. *grumble grumble* |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
カレン： あなたは きのうの．．． | Kara: You…yesterday… | Karen: We met yesterday. |
Let’s talk about は (wa). は is a particle that marks something as a topic, usually translated as as for. Here, Karen’s sentence is As for you, yesterday’s… with the ever-common ellipses leaving out the rest of her thought. This makes the OE literally accurate, but it’s one of countless places where literal accuracy sounds unnatural.
It’s common in Japanese to just say X は and expect people to figure out the unsaid part. For example, you’ve probably heard that 今日は (konnichiwa) means hello or good day. And it does, in terms of how it’s used. But literally it means as for today. The implied bit would be something like, I hope it’s going well for you.
Here, I think it’s appropriate to go ahead and write out Karen’s implied sentiment. I’d assume she intends to say something like as for you, I remember from yesterday’s events or as for you, you’re the person I met yesterday. The OE translates stuff like this literally all the time, so you get these one word stutters that make characters sound like they can’t put a thought together.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
テム： エドワード国王に 水しょうの指輪を 持ってくるように 言われたんだけどさ．．． | Will: I was told to bring the Crystal Ring to King Edward… | Tim: I was told by King Edward to bring the crystal ring here, but… |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
カレン： ひどい！ ひどいっ！ ひっどーいっ！ | Kara: Terrible! It’s terrible! | Karen: That’s terrible! Terrible, just awful! |
また お父様は 他人の 大切な物を 取り上げようと してるのねっ！ | Again my father is trying to take something important from someone! | Once again father is trying to take something important from someone else! |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
あたしもね ちょっと お城をぬけだしたら おしおきで ここから 出してくれないのよ！ | I’ve escaped from the castle before. Now they won’t let me go out! | That goes for me too, somewhat. After I slipped out of the castle, my punishment is that I can’t leave this room! |
JP doesn’t specify that she can’t leave the room, but it stands to reason. She already wasn’t supposed to leave the castle, and now she has a guard posted at her door. She’s effectively imprisoned.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
でも このところ お城のふんいきが ちょっとおかしいの。 | Recently, something very strange has happened in the castle. | And the mood around the castle has gotten a little peculiar. |
お母さまったら 殺し屋まで やとったのよ。 うす気味 悪いわ．．． | My mother has hired a famous hunter. It’s ominous… | Ugh, my mother even went as far as hiring a hit man! It’s so creepy. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： おひめさま、 もう そろそろ．．． | Soldier: Princess, let’s go. | Soldier: Princess, it’s about time. |
Karen isn’t going anywhere. He’s telling her to wrap it up.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
カレン： ねえ テム。 あたし とっても 不安なの。 父も母も 人が変わったみたい。 | Kara: I feel scared. My father and mother seem to have changed. | Karen: Hey, Tim. I’m so worried. Father and mother seem like different people. |
おねがい、 わたしを たすけて。 どうか ここから連れだして！ おねがい．．．． | Please save me! Take me out of here! Please… | Please, help me. Somehow or other, take me with you. Please. |
Translating this gives me a lot more sympathy for Karen. She’s a nice girl whose parents have been taken over by a dark power (presumably the comet). Realizing she’s Nice, Actually makes all this dialogue weightier for me.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： おひめさま．．． | Soldier: Princess… | Soldier: Your highness. |
カレン： おねがい、 きっと きてね、テム。 | Kara: Please come back, Will. | Karen: Please! Surely you’ll come for me, right Tim? |
I think she sounds more desperate in JP as well. This is all pretty sad.
Karen just repeats her final plea at this point. If you talk to the guard, he says:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
さあ 用がすんだら 帰った 帰った！ | Your business is finished. Get out! | Come on, time’s up. Out, out! |
それっ！ | Now! | Now! |
If you’re standing to his right, the game will launch you off to the right as he says this. Funny.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
この先は えっけん室。 国王に会見するなら この階段を 登るがよい。 | The interview room is before you. Climb the stairs to meet the king. | Past here is the audience chamber. If you have an audience with the king, you can take this staircase. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： テムさん ですね。 お待ちしておりました。 さあ エドワード国王のところへ。 | Soldier: So you are Will. Sorry to have kept you waiting. Let’s go see King Edward. | Soldier: Tim, right? We’ve been waiting for you. Go on, speak to King Edward. |
Both guards on either side of the throne say the same thing:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： 会見ならば うろうろせずに 国王に 話しかけよ。 | Soldier: If you want to see the King, keep your wits about you. | Soldier: If you have an audience with the king, speak to him without delay. |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
エドワード王后： あなたに手紙を送ったのは 国王よ。 あの人に 話しかけてちょうだい。 | Queen Edwina: The King sent you the letter. Talk to him. | Queen Edward: The letter you got was sent by the king. Please speak to him. |
Oof, her name in the OE. I can’t decide whether I love it or hate it.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
エドワード国王： お前が テムと申すか？ さえない 身なりを しておるな。 | King Edward: You’re Will? You look so… shabby. | King Edward: You’re Tim, then? Your clothes are unappealing. |
This is almost the exact same thing as what Karen said when she met Tim. She softened it a little bit. I’m translating as clothes are unappealing but I doubt I’d keep it like that if I were doing a romhack. It’s not punchy enough. Honestly shabby is a really good choice.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
さて さっそくだが 水しょうの指輪は もってきたか？ | Well, did you bring the Crystal Ring? | Now, without further delay, did you bring the crystal ring? |
We have a choice. The end result is the same either way, but the dialogue is different. Here’s what happens if you select Yes:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
よかろう。 なかなか 素直な子じゃな。 さあ 指輪を 出すがよい。 | Good. An honest lad. Give me the Ring. | Good. That’s very obedient of you. Go on, get it out. |
テム： ．．．．．．．．．．．．． | Will: …………. | Tim: …… |
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
エドワード国王：む？ お前は 今 わしに うそを ついたなっ！？ | King Edward: Hmm? Are you lying to me, young whelp?! | King Edward: Hmm? Did you lie to me just now!? |
Young whelp is invented. I think it’s fine to throw in things like that to convey tone.
If you choose No instead, the king says:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
よくも まあ ぬけぬけと そんなことが 言えたものだなっ！！ | How dare you say such a thing to me!! | How dare you say such a thing! Such impudence! |
The remaining dialogue is the same no matter which option you chose:
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
まあ そんなことだろうと思ったわ！ さあ。 兵士ども！ こいつを ろうやへ ブチこめえっ！ | Guards!! Throw this impudent weasel in prison! | Well, I thought that would be the case! Guards! Throw this rotten kid in jail! |
そして テムの家へゆき 指輪を さがしだすのじゃ！ | Then go to Will’s house and find the Ring! | Then, go to his house and find the ring! |
The king refers to Tim as こいつ (koitsu). There’s no direct translation for this. It’s a derogatory pronoun. Literally it just means this person, but it has a negative implication. You can pretty much pick any insult that conveys the tone.
Japanese | Original English | Translation |
|---|---|---|
兵士： はっ！ ただいま！ | Soldier: Yes, sir! | Soldier: Yes sir! Right away! |
テム： おばさん！ たすけてっ！ | Will: Ma’am! Save me!! | Tim: Old lady! Help me! |
エドワード王后： オバサンですってっ？！！！ | Queen Edwina: Did you say Ma’am??! | Queen Edward: Did you just call me “OLD LADY”!? |
This confused me as a kid. I didn’t understand that the queen is supposed to be outraged. I thought she was speaking in a neutral tone, in which case the dialogue is odd. Like she’s saying, “Uh, were you talking to me?” [scene end]
The problem is that ma’am is a fairly respectful word. Usually you’d call royalty your highness or something, but ma’am doesn’t strike me as horribly rude. In Japanese Tim calls her おばさん (obasan). おばさん literally means aunt. It’s can be used for any older woman regardless of familial relation, but unless it’s someone you’re close with, it would be rude. It can also be translated as ma’am sometimes, but in this situation you’d want to use the more offensive translation.
Internationally, auntie is a common English word for older women. And just as in Japanese, it can carry rude connotations. Here’s an example of someone using it in a derogatory way. It would be an absolutely perfect word to use here, except it isn’t used much that way in the United States. It would come off as weird to Americans.
It’s hard for me to judge how long is too long for these posts. This seems like a natural stopping point. Next stop, jail.